It's not so bad really

So my week at work finished off well, -from being as low as to thinking out my quitting speech, to turning around the next day and having a really great day. Fun how God can give you a great boost when you need it. This coming week my boss returns to work- Im still scared of him, but hopefully that will change too, I hope that he will be satisfied with how much I've learnt in his absence, and that he will have lots of grace and patience to see me through the rest of my training there. Im sorry bout my heavy laden previous post, I actually tried deleting it but my computer wouldn't let me, cuz it sounds super hopeless, which is so true to how i was feeling that night, perhaps it was not wise to spill on the internet, but my journal is full (need to buy a new one) and I just had to get it all off my mind, even in my tired and weary state. I find that I resort to complaining way to easily.. its a new weakness, I used to take abit of pride in being a really positive person and being able to trust and surrender my life to God quite easily.. somewheres I fell off that boat, not cool. I need to revamp my faith so to say, Ive been pulling alot of Peter's by taking my eyes off Jesus' face, and looking at waves around me and letting them swallow me, as I sputter around wondering why on earth things aren't going how I think they should. Even reading what Im writing here its like well Sheila then just lift your eyes up already, reach out for the Hand thats so steadily available. and yet it almost feels like theres a mile between me and that Hand, and thats not right...gotta close that gap