A peek into this life of mine...: Breaking down

So I have been told and knew for the most part that I can handle stress and stressful situations well... but I have now learnt that I am human, and humans can fall apart.

It has been one month now that Ive just been working 2 days a week, and it sure hasn't been easy. Oh sure I've had many friday to monday long weekends and plus a day off in the middle of the week, which makes for lots of sleep ins, but its gets really old after the second week and down right frusterating by the 5th week. I find it interesting how when I compare this year to last year I find that my hardest months were the same. Especially October. October is officially my Annual bad luck with jobs Month. Last year I got fired in October, I got stuck on the beach and had to get towed out (fun story), and got a 280.00 speeding ticket all in a week. It was very bad.

Last week I had a horrible week, mostly the battle was in my head, but nonetheless it really sucked. Wednesday I figured I needed 'Jaymi time' Jaymi is one of my awesomest cousins and we are alike in many ways. Jaymi lives in Steinbach so I made a spontanious trip out there, had my Jaymi time and felt much better about living. The next morning I probably should have just stayed in bed..maybe called in sick or something, I was in such a wretched mood I probably could have hurt someone very badly. By the end of the work day, I was just fuming and boiling and knew I needed to get out of Winnipeg very quickly or I would surely murder someone. Its not like i had a specific reason for anything of this. But this is when I know that Im officially not keeping myself together, and Im no longer being good at handling my stresses. So I very promtly threw my stuff together and got out. After a Thursday to Monday long weekend, I have now cooled down some and am back in the city.

I will be finding out very soon if I got the nanny position I applied for, its sounding pretty positive. I know I wanted to expand my horizons get away from nannying and kids, but Im just getting desparate, and the paychecks better in nannying then at McDonalds. The biggest catch right now though is that I can get this job, which starts in the middle of November..and everything can be just peachy... until March, becuase come March my other house is done with me. But to start at a new house and only be there for 4 months seems like such a rip off to them, so then should I stay there till I go to camp for the summer? but then I'll be in the same shoes I am now.. trying to find a part time job to fill in the extra days.. This is just so stupid.. cuz when I make my decisions now, affects whats gonna happen next year. I started thinking this weekend maybe I'd just scrap this all and go be an aupair in Australia, so I went and checked that out.. and sure enough a family got back to me right aways wanting me to come and be their aupair (they have twin girl babies {I love twins}and live in sydney, are 2 minutes from the beach etc and pretty much the situation couldn't be more ideal).. i think its almost comical how I can't get a job in Wpg.. but how i could have one In Australia in January, but if I do that then Id really be giving up the whole missions trip idea.

So yeah pretty much my brain in like a pinball machine, with ideas, some sensible, some rash; and at this point I dont have any sense from God to show me what I should do, which is probably one of the most frusterating elements of all. I just dont know what to do, everythings just swarming like crazy....

On a positive note, Christy and I celebrated her 16th and my 21st at the Hecla Oasis Resort and Spa (A joint gift from our parents) on October 17-18.. We had a completly and wholly and wild and loud awesome time together. It was amazing, mostly because we made it amazing. We took a bucketload of pictures and put together halarious video coverage... now if ever I need a laugh I just watch one of our movies.. Here is a couple pictures from our weekend.. in random order

Getting ready to dash and dine!

The next morning.. Definetly by far the best bed I ever slept in, you get to adjust how soft or firm it is by the press of a button, so fun! and Im definetly investing in feather pillows and blankets like that one day... or I'll just steal them from the hotels laundry room..