Week 9...almost 2 months down..

So its been what 9 weeks of living in the city? This is gonna be my piece of honesty blog. Im not convinced yet that I made the right decision to move to the city, not saying that its been all bad, but I just question it really often. (theres a reason why I come home EVERY weekend RIGHT after work on Friday.) I know that it was good for me to have the whole moving out experience, and yes im quite capable of supporting myself without my parents. Nannying is not as glamerous as it sounds, yeah when you break it down it has heaps of benefits compared to the next job, which are awesome, cuz really you do get to do anything you want when you want type deal, if u wanna be outside in the sun you can, if its cold and cruddy out then you can just sit inside, if you feel like being lazy you can do that, if you feel like getting out and going places, you just buckle the kids in and giver. But there are 2 biggies that get me wondering how long I could last.
A. Im so flippin lonely. Going 9 hours without having adults to talk to, is hard for me, some people really enjoy the alone time, but I can hardly hack it; cuz it gives me way way way to much time to think, to think about myself, and get frusterated and discouraged about my life, its happening way to much that Im just drive myself to feeling complete hopelessness. Its not cool.
B. The amount of pressure being the only person in charge, that was a beautiful thing about daycare, because you were a team of people, so if parents came in and got mad, it got directed at everybody cuz they dont actually know WHO to direct it at. Being a nanny, if things aren't right, theres only one person to point fingers at, of course if something goes right then you get the credit for that too. Nonetheless it keeps me in abit of a uptight mode, cuz Im always wondering if what Im doing is right. On a side note of this, its hard to know exactly what the parents allow and dont allow, because according to the kids "Mom always lets me" but I dont want to believe them cuz if she doesn't then IM gonna get in trouble for it, not the kid. So I find I have to be the big bad wolf ALOT, more to cover my own butt, so that I wont get in trouble for letting the kids have something that they shouldn't be having.

No doubt about it, all my kids aren't quite roses either, and I didn't expect them too, but I did think that after 2 months Id be a lil more bonded and sealed type thing. I got fired from one of my kids, they reckoned they didnt need a nanny and told me off, that was lovely coming from such a small mouth. Im pretty sure I had a pretty steller reply to that.
Im very thankful for my daycare experience, especially the learning how to cope, tolerate, IGNORE, and deal with flaming tempers or all kinds; and Im thankful for all my childcare experience, because Im learning how I am and am not gonna mother my children. I KNOW it will be different when they are my very own kids.But heres what I've often found- Stricter parents often have better behaved kids (Not stricter in the sense that they are always yelling at them, but just parents who set rules and teach there kids how to respect authority and have manners and dont give in to everything etc), where as lenient parents who let there kids rule the coop.... well and we wonder why things are the way they are.

Change of subject, Im having the hardest time deciding if I want to make my next Australia trip a month long, or if I want to move there. A month would be easier in the sense that it'd be just like a vacation, and Id pack all my highlights into 4 weeks.. but then when I come back home I'll be in the same shoes as I am now in the sense that I'll just really want to go back again. I feel like I almost need to go for a longer period just to "get it outta my system" plus I am young, and I am still super single, all my friends are married, engaged, or close to it- I really dont have a whole lot going on here thats holding me back. My only problem is that Im not sure what Id want to do there for a longer period of time, like what kinda job do I want. The only thing i really got going for me is heaps of childcare experience, I thought about maybe working in a daycare there.... anybody got any other ideas or place you know, or even like a volunteer tpye thing, or any oversea work programs? Ive kinda dismissed the aupair thing right now, just cuz im not sure If I could stand working and living in the same place, especially now that I know what nannying is like. I also have this looming fear in the back of my mind that going back to the same place just wouldn't be as good as the first time. Everything worked out so perfectly the first time around, and I know it wouldnt be like that again. To be honest Im scared that if I went back to Australia again it would suck. At the same time IM SO SICK OF ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT GOING BACK AND NOT ACTUALLY GETTING ANYWHERE WITH THE DECISION. but at this point I need to Gods help in deciding what to do and then figuring out which month, and then BOOKING those tickets, and sit back at look forward to it all! that is IF Gods cool with me going back, I really want to see my friends there again; and Im really ready for something fun and exciting in my life-I need something to look forward to...something that would include boarding a plane..?? :D yeah my foots ready to hit that gas when God gives me a green light.

On a positive note now, we got our bridesmaids dresses in for Sophias wedding,and I didn't have to get alterations which was nice. its interesting how for the most part I dont have to get alterations on bridal salon dresses which is odd for alot of people cuz they make those dresses with weird proportions so that often you have no choice but to get something taken in or whatever, but thanks to my weird figure it somehow just works. Now im working on the tan- today was step one, working in the greenhouse all day, got abit of color, now I just need to keep adding to it. Thank the Lord its the long weekend, I hope you are all enjoying it! All the best to those who are camping with the snow. :)

ohhh bummer

I just wrote out the coolest blog with tons of pictures and i spent the last 5 hours waiting for the video to load, and then i exited the screen before i hit POST! sorry you guys missed out on a gooder.

..Cuz you and I were meant to fly...My thoughts take flight

Who says flying over the ocean is boring its gorgeous, this is shortly after taking off from Sydney

Phillip Islands, just off the coast of OZ

Coming into Australia for the first time, early in the morning

Hawaii from the sky

Vancouver

Canadian Clouds

Plane being refueled in Honolulu, what a big beautiful aircraft

So I reckon I've become a once a week blogger.. not a daily blogger-sorry to disappoint. Right now I can hear a plane taking off.. and I want to be on it. The one thing I love about being in the city, is the planes, and living so close to the aiport gives me many chances to see planes shortly after they take off, or when they are coming in. This is hazordous at times, cuz sometimes i have my eyes on the sky when perhaps I should be looking at the road... or sorry street as you would call it here.

I loves planes, and am totally guilty of actually stopping whatever im doing and taking a moment to watch a plane take off until I can't see it anymore. One night it was like 1 in the morning and I wasn't sleeping yet, and I heard this huge one take off, and I just lay there in bliss. AirCanada is a personal favorite of mine, because its what took me to paradise, its not very often then I see one of them..but when I do, thats when my heart does the lil hurting thing- the longing thing, the "Im so jealous of whoevers sitting up in that plane right now flying someplace far away"

I love flying, and I absolutly loved my 22 hour flight to Australia, I had my nose pressed up against the window for the majority of that flight, even when it was dark I liked watching the light at the end of the wing blink. It was just a surreal experience. And for the first time I've uploaded my "landing in Aus" movie, not sure if it ever finished loading, so let me know if it doesn't work to watch.

If I had to desribe flying in one word it would be GLORIOUS!

In the sense that its just looks so heavenly on top of the clouds

So there you have it people, my sappy tribute to flight; and the day that Im holding an AirCanada boarding pass in one hand and my passport in the other is going to be beautiful beautiful day. Its gonna happen yet, when God gives me a green light.

Swine Flu?

So its a nice cloudy rainy day outside, and I am on my first sick day of my job, but its a weird sick, Yesterday afternoon my stomach kinda hurt but mostly I just felt very weak and my whole body just hurt and my skin was tingly, and Im gonna assume I had a fever. My sisters came out in the evening, we had a sister date twas fun, cept I still felt weak and tired. This morning when I woke up I figured I was feeling better but when I got up and walked around abit I still didn't feel right, so I went back to bed. Im feeling a lil bit better, but I can tell theres something not right.

1 month 1 year- Materialistic Much?

So yesterday, was 'my baby'' 's 1st birthday. My baby is the name of my car. To celebrate?? I got my windows tinted on Saturday night, I had been thinking about doing it for forever, and then past week I was just having a :( week mentally, and I needed something exciting.. So on Saturday I called Paint it Black, and made a last minute appt to get it done. It looks good. I know I could have done without it, because its one of those things thats 'Just for Looks' like I know theres "benefits" but really when it comes down to it its just a cosmetic thing. So a new phone and tinted windows in one week... I felt very materialistic. Wednesday marked 1 month of living in the city.
Now its Monday and I had a heap of phone questions bout my cell and contract and stuff, so Stace and I went to the mall and I hounded the guy with questions and he answered with answers I wanted to hear so that was good lol. Everything was a quick fix. Then seeing Stacey and I missed our bra shopping date last Monday when we got phones instead we checked that out today, yay for new bras; so fun. Then I went for a run again, which was good, everyday I got further and now I'm 3 minutes shy of my record I had at the gym, so its not taking to long to get whipped back into that kinda shape. Right now Im watching The Bachelor, my favorite show for now. Its a lil harder this season to predict whose he's gonna pick, last time I had it pretty well figured out by the time it came down to the final 4 or 5, but Im kinda up in the air, cuz I have 3 girls that I think could be good matches for him...
My ear feels abit better, it still pops alot, the pills i have to take for it taste and smell like wet dog, they are so gross. I'm gonna go back sometime this week to see if I get a a-ok or a heres more pills. or a lets do surgery on ur ruptured ear drum.. yeah no clue whats going on inside my head.

Blood and Puss

Remember how last week I was hoping someone would just shoot me in the ear? Well someone did, I got Ava one of my nanny kids too, with an air gun thing, so pretty much it just puffed a lil air in there, it was cute none the less, she was also shooting her pony in the eyes with it to make her feel better. ---Shooting my ear didnt heal it, last week was pain week, then came the weekend and it was like "lets just be deaf in one ear, and go in and out of being plugged type feeling, but it didn't hurt as much so that made me happier" none the less every morning my ear felt right funky, and so I was like man this is going on 3 weeks and it isn't really getting much better..

So today I woke up again with the feeling of a cotton ball stuck in my ear, and i poked my finger in my ear and there was nothing in it, so why did it feel exactly as though something was stuck in there?? Later on I did poke something in there to see what was in there, and sure enough this ear of mine was bleeding out. SO I called health links and the nurse is like "before this day is over you need to see a doctor" So I cancelled my run and hot date and flight and went and sat in a walk in clinic for a couple hours, met the nicest doctor, and she confirmed that YES indeed I have an ear infection, and that theres a possiblity that my ear drum is ruptured. SWEET. So she gave me drugs and said, Come back in a week, even if you feel like your better. and heaven forbid you ever stick anything in your ear, No q-tips! Oh and dont go swimming.

So my question is, what are Q tips really for?

ps. parts of this blog are a not truthful.. its not sweet that i have a possible hole in my eardrum and that it could be ruptured, and i didn't have a hot date or a flight unfortunetly. Although Im heading off to pack right now cuz Im making a trip home tomorrow!!!!! whooo!!!!!

Yesterday

Yesterday was what I would call a successful day.

I had a good day at work.

I went for a RUN.. Finally!

I cooked myself a proper full fledged supper

I went bra shopping with Stacey at the mall..

I didn't come home with a bra...

Instead we both came home with one of these. Typical girls? hmm maybe not so much.

My thoughts as of Week 4

I've been in the city for 4 weeks, but somehow that doesn't make it a month yet. Each week has gotton a lil easier. This week was different however as it was the first week that Thursday night I wasn't packing, and Friday after work I didn't go straight home fighting through hardcore rushhour. I came back to my apartment, my empty apartment, as my roomies went home for the weekend, and I would be jealous, except that its my own choice that Im staying here. I knew that at some point I needed to stay, cuz afterall I wanted to try out a new church, meet some people, get into a CnC etc. I dont have much plans for the weekend, If nothings happening, I'll go to one of my nanny kids birthday party tomorrow afternoon, (It would be interesting to be all together with these nanny parents, and "not being on the job") Sunday is one of Sophia's showers. Other then that this is all wide open- lonely much:S yeah i reckon so. Although as Im writing this my sister is tempting me with the possibility of her coming in tomorrow, that would make my sky a thousand stars brighter.
Today I went and met a girl, whose looking to fill her house with some new roomates.. she lives right close to my work, and the place is quite nice, its a duplex, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 story. Even though your renting you can PAINT THE WALLS lol. So Im gonna think on that, its a very good option.FOR SURe.
anyway Im gonna put my lonely lil self on the couch and watch a movie. maybe eat the other half of my bunny.. or maybe not.
I`ve had a wicked wicked earache for all of this week as abit of last week too.. Im staying drugged up on extra strength tylonal. I dont even know how to go abouts seeing a doctor in Winnipeg, so I haven`t even tried. Pretty much i just wanna blast my ear off, it would probably hurt the same.. well ok so maybe not, it just really hurts, and Im sick of it hurting.Please pray for my ear.
New church on Sunday. Time to meet some new fish (question mark, seeing as my keyboard is wonked out)
Highlight of the week-My time with my extended family, I had dinner and movie with my veery special Auntie Trudy on Wedneday (also my awesome travel agent) and Thursday I was at Kevin and Elivras, for amazing supper. mmm good. As of right now.. toodles!
ps. I actually really do wish I was at home right now.

Happy Easter

This weekend I've been finding it hard to make the connection that Jesus died for ME, that he loves ME, and that He saved ME. Like the thought overall is like wow, but its just not sinking into my heart, I dunno what my problem is, maybe I need to ponder it more or something, maybe I've been too distracted, cuz its just not hitting home for me, and I want/need it too....

If you live in an Apartment Building, you MUST do this

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN UP AND DOWN THE HALLS!!!!!! I just got back from doing so, Oh and you have to be in socks, cuz then its perfectly quiet, just let the wind rip through your hair!!! It was so exillerating, Im gonna do it more often. Totally awesome!
speaking of apartments, Summerland was on fire today. (see previous blog) I could see it from my nanny house, the smoke coming out the top, there was a lady on her balcony yelling for help, that was kinda eerie, all you can do is watch really. There was TONS of sirens, fire trucks ambulances and heaps of cops everywhere, they blocked off the whole neighborhood pretty much, so my boss couldnt even get in for like an hour, so I worked late today, thankfully I was able to get out onto Pembina, but it was super plugged. Yes twas interesting!
Everybody go run down your hallway!

Week number 2 part 2 my rant

Ok so on Tuesday we were all honky doory, but once again, by Friday, I was like get me outta the city I need some wide open spaces. I developed some severe road rage by the end of the week, if I was driving a beater I could have purposely smoked into some pple. I just got so fed up with the driving in the city, constantly going from brake to gas to brake to gas,, your foot actually hurts after awhile, and people are constantly almost hitting you, like all the time your slamming your brakes cuz pple are being dumb. I love it how when someone almost hits you by cutting your right off and then gives u this sweet apologetic wave in their rearview mirror,.. yeah no problem, by all means, feel free to almost hit me all the time. hence why today I promtly went to go switch over my car insuarance so that it will be ok for the city. The jobs going alright its not all glam but it has its moments of great brightness, I had a pretty lax week. The highlight was definetly the kingsize temper tantrums at McDonalds, I just smile now when I think of it. Baby in one arm, parkas, diaper bag, purse in the other, 1 child playing, and one having a serious serious meltdown. Ive never felt so much like a mom in my life, as I did when I took them to McDs. cuz of course in a public place like that everyone assumes u are the mom. Long story short, Im as stubborn as a rock and I dont mind if the kid wants to scream at the top of there lungs in a public place, I wont give in. Im far far to stubborn. (I also had un imaginable bucket loads of patience this day which helped alot) In the end I had them all dressed up and out to the car in no time. I was pretty pleased with how well I handled it. We might even do it again sometime. Interesting fact: I wasn't embarrassed. Ive heard lots about how its embarrassing when your child throws a massive temper tantrum in a public place, but I think when your the nanny and not actually the mom, it makes a difference. I felt pretty calm about it. Sure I wasn't happy, and the child went straight to bed as soon as we got home, but I felt like I had handled it alright. I think a big saving grace was how calm baby was, if there was more then one child having tears, then I may have lost my mind a lil sooner.but yes that was my highlight. Oh and the other highlight was finding a big ol parking ticket on my car at 630 that morning, it was just bound to be a great day!!!! hence why I ate almost a whole white chocolate easter bunny and strawberry milk while watching Bride Wars in cheap seats with Krista, which was probably my realistic highlight. So this is my rant. Hope you enjoyed. I believe my attitude towards the city still has a ways to go.

2nd week

Im alot more adjusted to this whole city thing this week. Feels abit more like life. Ironed out some wrinkles. Tis much better now.

Highlight of my day? finding out that Summerland isn't just for old people, I called them today, and they said they have young people too. For those of you who have no clue what Im talking about, theres an apartment building, a huge one, with an atrium and indoor pool, Wes and Bonnie lived here when they got married, and ever since then it stuck in my mind as being so beautiful, walking through the indoor jungle.. and when I found out now that its righ close to where Im working on Pembina, I was like I want to live there! and the rent is half reasonable when you have roomates to share it with, and i can see if from the back yard of one of my nanny houses!!!!!!! perfect location for the job!!! so maybe this will be my next home :) heres a picture of it for ya'all to get a good idea of what it looks like from the outside, I want to be on the top floor!!!